Obedience is costly. And I have paid a very high price.
My obedience led me to the mission field where I found myself questioning many, many things. I saw racism. I saw legalism. I saw rancid piety. Hypocrisy was all around me. So here I was, professing to be a Christian while questioning everything around me eroded my confidence in the religion of my choice. Was it erosion or enlightenment? However, I fear I have passed on my questioning mind to my children. Some say this is a good thing to ask questions, but I have to wonder. Because now, at this time, my children do not live for God as I would like. They choose not the things of God to focus on. They care not to worship God in His house. They reject the Church, His bride. I feel they have rejected the very essence of my core...my faith in Jesus and my love for God.
It breaks my heart to see them so far from the very source of life itself. I feel I have failed them.
And yet, I will follow my Jesus wherever he leads; though none go with me, I still will follow.
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